Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize