These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
