Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
