Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
