Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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