Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
