Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
