I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
