OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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