Pants 0. Shit 1.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
