it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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