I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
