This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
