There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
