But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
