When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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