D3 body, D1 cock
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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