I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
