No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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