I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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