it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
