singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
