dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
