Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
