clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
