If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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