Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
