White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
