she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize