Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
