Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need a burrito and a hug.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
