Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i would one night stand the shit outta him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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