dude i'm inner monologue high
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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