..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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