yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
