she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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