I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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