what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
