32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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