I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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