Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
