K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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