This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize