Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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