Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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