Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
