apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
