Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
