I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
