Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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