i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
