he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
