I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
