But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize