.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
