yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
