On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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