sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
