I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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