Will you blow on my dice?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
